Emotional sensitivity

I haven’t been the easiest one to please… My days at early school, I remember having issues with ‘other girls’ as I called them at that young and o-I’m-innocent age. At that time I was the only child, with protective surroundings that kept me away from petty problems or from the wild-child I didn’t know how to deal with. I thought giving a smart reply and having the last word was my safest bet and would mean, battle won. Being rude wasn’t a solution, but I didn’t think I was being rude either. Well, I was in a boarding back then, when I certainly wasn’t going very far with that snobbish attitude of mine. To my defense, I didn’t know better. 
To my knowledge, I was always ‘the perfect child to have around’, ‘polite’, ‘very well mannered’ and ‘good kid’ and phew! I was with plenty of kids up in a hilltop where I learned the hard way, my own way. “Every dog has his day” – I would keep saying to myself and hoping I would one day be a girl who would soon-er or later fit in. The other’s were always wanting to be the one’s loved by all others in the dormitory, the popular, over-generous (to get score brownie points), all-rounders but for some reason, I couldn’t care to be that plastic or over-extend myself. I used the ‘polite’ and ‘keep to myself’ approach where. I had friends, who understood me and there on I had a school was a better place to be in. 
I’ve recognized the emotional me and try to make excuses for being that way… Today, I spent the day by myself, in my room, flipping channels, looking at my phone and introspection. A few conversations with friends, made it clear – I was having an emotional day. That’s how I sat writing this too, while I traced back my control-emotion days… why? Human’s are emotional beings, which is what sets them apart from animals, plants and non-living objects. How do I differentiate myself from being a human? Yes, there is difference, in being rude, controlling extreme emotions, saying the wrong thing and avoiding an unpleasant scene… But again, there is something called understanding, where once the other party recognizes that you’re not your best, they lay off and take control of the situation and avoid the mess.


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