The devil prefers her attitude.

Devil wears Prada, one of my favorite movies. I sat down to watch it, after 2 years perhaps. Well, it reminded me of ME. Torn between career and passion… The careerist in me, drives me to exploring other options where I’d see the horizons of the day and meet my dreams. However, my happiness lies in creativity… that’s my drug. It keeps my spirits lifted and my chin held high. Crazy as this might sound to you, I found myself in those shoes a couple of days ago. where I had myself crib to family and friends saying my job isn’t paying me my due and that I was killing myself over something I wasn’t assured in either.
“People would kill for this job” these words were repeatedly mentioned in the movie and yeah, over the duration, I’ve heard them come to me several times too. A sign? I’ll take a deep breath and take it as one for now. I count my blessings and have gratitude for the comforts I live.

You always have a choice.
Know it, to know better.

xoxo
Vivani

Give me thee

It’s terrible the feeling of not being heard.
I have conversations in my head, ever so often
That I forget to say it allowed
Weather I’m hurting
Fretting
Or regretting…

The decisions I must have taken
Would now hold me back.

The rules I didn’t set
Would now not let me move forward.

O’ thou
Help me to find my peace
Help me to be heard
And give me thee
Courage to vent.

xoxo Vivani

Posted with WordPress for BlackBerry.

Much the enthusiast

I clicked, to log on to my wordpress account, after the inspiration from reading several other blogs… and I could not recollect my username! Yes, it has been a while since I’ve contributed on my blog.  Shameful! The day I started I thought I would update it regularly and ensure it was one of the most viewed blogs on wordpress. That excitement din’t last to long as noticed. Let me begin with how I began this blog.

Being the dot of the big question mark, I didn’t know where to go right after my graduation, which was 3 years of doing a Bsc. Management in New Delhi. I was offered through my mother’s friend, if I was keen to experiment areas information technology. I agreed, thinking I am pretty web friendly and would learn a whole lot of designing and dip my hands into buckets full of creativity. I went in for an interview and experinmented for a month. It was interesting and I wanted to know more and learn more in the field and was hired as a management trainee. And that’s where I actually began my blog… I would watch others’ there constantly “blogging” and “updating” and picked up the flair of voicing out on the world wide web from there and from them. Hesitant to share my blog link at first, of course dint want any one pin pointing grammatical errors and sentence formation et cetera. Then the thought of other’s knowing my thoughts.. phew! I was there for a year, where I coded, learnt, observed the “professional functioning of a professional platform” it did come easy to me and it was an incredible learning process. Before I knew, I was bitten by the geek bug and cracking codes for various programmes. Thrilling as it should have been since my mentors were proud and so was i deep within, I knew it wasn’t me. I dint wan to <code> </uncode> even though I knew I was getting better.

Beyond the motivation and encouragement I couldn’t see myself making IT – my career. One day while I sat on my bright orange rotatable chair, following my daily schedule of documenting a manual I got a call from one my bestest friends. She was at that time interning for a bank where she heard the HR asking if she had someone interested in a front desk position for the GK branch (the locality in ‘South’Delhi) being a GK resident I quickly fixed up an interview.

Well, if you know me, you’d know I am NUMBER PHOBIC. But yet I’ve dreamt of earning all the moolah through a bank job. I excelled in the first round and the second and the third. However, they needed someone instantly and I still hadn’t completed a year in my first professional nest which I wanted to, I had about 10 days left. I chose to wait and let go of that opportunity resign from my desk and take up something else. I was told I was being foolish by giving up a job, which i did surprisingly well at and then not having a “plan B”. The suggested approach was to have something in hand before taking a leap, not leaving a space in my resume where there could arise a -“what were you doing, during that period”? My answer to that being; if I dint let to go then, I wouldn’t ever have…

Me the XXII

And so i celebrated my 22nd this 22nd. Yea! Marked quite a day in geographical history with it being the day of the longest and last solar eclipse for the next 123 years.

Re-lived the memories of my childhood, growing up years and changing in to girlie dresses with matching accessories, pre-boarding days, boarding school days,   then the times i used to thanks my stars for celebrating my birthday during my summer holidays. One of my many fears is, running out of recollection. I’ve always wanted to pen down and capture every moment to its detailed best. Was never able to maintain a diary, was vary of the pry-ers. Perhaps that’s the reason I started to write here.

Around 7 years ago, growing older seemed thrilling for it was closer to getting a license, being able to stretch dead-lines, meant wearing lesser make up to look older, being in the non-kido loop. Seemed as though life was only getting better as the number of candles increased on the birthday cake.

A recurring thought is would turning older bring me closer to wrinkles, dentures, crow feet, aches and pains, joint troubles, urge for botox and so on so forth. Seeing the beauty behind actually living a life that I’ve been given and realizing that all though I was being  only being cowardly, about the loopholes I would fall into and not look at the brighter side of living it all.

This 22nd was a silent conversation I had with myself and spent the day and time (in-person and in-conversation), with people I love and the ones who really mean a lot. The unconditional love conveyed to me a deeper meaning and insight to life and what I am to now foresee and live.

So I raise a toast to a Finer, Fitter and Fabulous ME !!!!

XoXo

Haves and Have Nots

Whats the guilt you’re dealing with, having to much? not having? having and having not .. what you  really admire and desire?

Marx kept beating his drum about the society then and how to ‘class’ify it. The scenario remains ditto till date. We have the haves  and the have nots residing in the same plinth and yet there’s no progression or sigh of relief for them (the ones who need the progression).Wisdom i say is for the wise, what are the 3 wise men doing gallivanting the globe and following the star when its not directing them towards making a strong move and implementing change?

Where is the promised? What are we to expect? Where would it be found? It’s said – Ask questions …  and who really answers them is the question I ask?

Change ~ the overly said word is hovering all over the place and not merely close to the ones who it should be striking.  It’s been the word of 2008-2009 ought to have benefited the millions globally,  supposed to have done justice to its meaning which is unseen, unheard and undone!

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Society divided in classes .. was it?

Classes in society .. worth it?

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Classless Society .. will it ever be?

Society with class .. who’s for it?

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Queer

Queer

Out Of The Closet

The much hushed about topic of thought and not openly discussed was homosexuality. In yester years people would rather wear blinders than see reality for what it was.

“He’s not interested in women, is he … oh my god! No cannot be he’s so innocent”

Whattt? and since when did innocence get muddled with the option of liking, doing and living? Options are given when they’re accepted.  A choice however is made when desired.

Indian court legalizing homosexual marriages.. took the country and youth by surprise, the population should see the positives of knowing it would balance the over-populated country ours is.

some are under the opinion which is described as “unnatural”. How natural is it to hamper ones freedom?

“We are against calling homosexuality a criminal activity, but we are certainly in principle against legalizing it, because that would mean the state endorsing same-sex relationships,” said Babu Joseph, spokesman for the Catholic Bishops’ Conference of India. Homosexuality “violates fundamental norms of a family,” he said.

– I’d comment:  A reaction like this the midst of 2009 is appalling in a developing country. There are talks about advancement and progression at every stage, India as a country is mimicking the patterns of the ‘Wild Wild West’. Then why is being gay such a sour point or looked at as a shame?

About time it was seen as a way of life and an individual preference rather than it being a social disaster or a social disappointment.

Enough: Love & Fresh Air?

Today?

Love and fresh air being enough… is what people want it to be.  There is a  want to indulge in simple living with the ground essentials;  Love and Fresh Air.

Why?

Love is gone – David Guetta sings and people love the song for the reasons they wholely souly comply to the lyrics.

Where?

True Love is in the stories we positivity affirm while putting children off to sleep for them to know such a feeling exists. Finding true love,  is the task we never warn them about.

Andy - Love

Fresh air what we want to find while we have people breathing down our throats.. we want to move away to be able to inhale the freedom and freshness that doesn’t prevail.


How?

Caged in the thoughts we forget how to fly.  When we get the love, we forget how to adorn  it.

When we are in the love breathing fresh air there’s a sense of suffocating commitment and when we have it blown away from us is what dawns on us how to cherish it.